The Journey Begins…


Hi Everyone!

So, glad you stopped by! Pull up a chair, grab some coffee, get comfy and let’s chat. Are you ready? I am here to share the unscripted uncut messy details of my day and the lessons I am learning from these experiences. I don’t have perfect days. Some days are a hot mess and others turn out to be much better. I don’t know all the answers. I am still figuring it out. I know each day will have it’s set of challenges and triumphs and I try to embrace them both with an open heart and a positive attitude. Someday’s I lose my Jesus a little and find him all over again in a moment of surrender and trading in my strength for HIS.

Continue reading

A Black Mom Speaks…..Race relations in America as seen through the eyes of a black mother.


Just heard the news today, it’s a hot mess out there. My heart is heavy, heavy for change, heavy because I am a mother of two black boys whose black skin strips all innocence from them at only 11 and 13. Our boys do not get to experience childhood without learning about the social injustice and prejudice of being born with black skin and how they may be perceived as a threat to non-blacks simply because of this fact: they are black! They start the race of life with the disadvantage brought about by their skin color.

How does a mother’s heart take in all the facts about prejudices and stereotypes that continue to rear its head over and over again for decades without being deeply affected?

Continue reading

How to Move Pass Stuck…


Let me tell you a story…

I had writer’s block for several months now, but not the typical writer’s block where the thoughts are not flowing. Mine came about when I lost a completed blog post by a “Cut/Paste” dilemma. I was devastated. I felt all kinds of emotions as I replayed the entire scenario in my head over and over again with one regret, why did I select “cut” instead of “copy”? This left me mentally paralyzed for weeks. The thought of trying to remember and rewrite what was lost had me feeling hopeless.

It crippled me mentally. I almost gave up on writing altogether because I thought this must be a sign I am not cut out to be a writer.

Mental, mental, mental……

I hope you are paying attention. Because of my thought process, I felt defeated.

Continue reading



Chuck Family-15 (1) 2


What’s your measure of true love?

Are you a hopeless romantic ”in love with love”

Are you a realist not moved by the butterflies and twinkling eyes, but see love for what it really is?

Are you a cynic that doesn’t believe two human beings can live together without looking to fulfill their own selfish ambitions?

Do you believe there is ONE person that will fit you like a glove, and your world would not make sense without them? Or do you believe that is too far fetched?

Have you given up on love, or are you still hoping you will find that special person that sweeps you off your feet and keeps you wondering ”how did I ever live without you?”

Is that kind of love possible?

Continue reading

The Power of a Father’s Presence…


That’s the smile from a kid that had a tough day at school. He came home so discouraged and completely not himself. He shared with me the events of his day and how he felt embarrassed, sad and even angry. I understood him completely because I too have had days like that.

We prayed we talked, I praised him and flooded him with words of affirmation.  I hoped to drown out the negative voices that had draped him to the point of tears. I hugged him and held him, hoping my tight grip would melt away all his sorrows. I told him funny stories so I could see his bright smile that lights up my heart. I tickled him, he chuckled a little. I told him the story of Thomas Edison, ”How many times did Thomas Edison build the light bulb I asked”. He heard the story a million times. It’s my favorite story to tell when he’s feeling defeated. He smirked a little and whispered  ”10,000”. He knew where I was going and I could tell the story cheered him up a lot.  

I hoped what I shared resonated with my 10-year-old in a way that he would soon forget about the kind of day he had. He walked away and I could hear him playing with his legos quietly in his room. He was so quiet that Dad went to check on him and all I heard for the next 20 minutes were chuckles of laughter and stomping feet. Jaden and Dad were wrestling and tickling with so much laughter that I stopped and watched in amazement at the change in Jaden’s demeanor because of the interaction He was having with his Dad. It totally cured him of his bad day.

9FA3ADC9-A242-43A9-A236-CD4F7D5C6A4C 2

What a difference, the presence of a Father makes. I used everything in my mothers’ arsenal but did not have an impact on my son that his Dad had.

A Father’s presence is powerful!

Men, your presence is needed more than you realize. We as mothers,  no matter how hard we try, cannot duplicate the impact a Father or a male role model has on these precious little ones.

Men, you are needed and necessary!

Your presence matters and makes a life-changing difference in the home.

#1 Your Presence is the Difference Maker

“It is something about a man showing up and being present in the lives of his spouse and children that makes all the difference. You are the rock and place of safety. The glue that holds it all together. The source of wise counsel, tender love and care, loving chastisement, and the priest of the house that is reliant, not on his own strength, but God’s providence.”  ~Charles Jackson~The Armor of Man

Here’s a message from one incredible Dad to another…check out this powerful video.

Your Presence is a Game Changer…

We appreciate all the men who are holding the fort down and leading their families well. 

We salute you, Fathers!

We salute you, MEN!

Happy Father’s Day!


 #forgebyfire #forgebyfires #refinednotdefined #refinedbyfire #blogging #forgebyfireblog #bepatiencewiththeprocess #patience #keepmoving #keepPushing #keepforward #staythecourse #thereisapurposetotheprocess #Godstimingandyourprocessareperfectlyintertwined #thepowerofaFatherspresence


~Still Becoming~

zonnette jackson 6

God is BIGGER than that…

The journey of life can seem so unpredictable-we sometimes have little to no control over the things we experience in life. However, one thing has become clear to me, God is the great director of our journey. He knows what’s necessary for every season of our lives. Not a single detail escapes him. He is the one orchestrating and manipulating the pieces of our lives when we have surrendered it to him. He is the Master Chest player and He always sees the moves of our lives way ahead so we can trust him with our journey. Trust him with the timing of each move and the purpose of each chess piece. Trust that He wants you to win in all things and declare to the devil ” Checkmate”.

Adversity can break us, change us or benefit us.

What will it do for you?

Continue reading

I am…


I find myself in the most unlikely place, a strange uncomfortable place where I had to ask the hard questions. I had to be honest with my emotions . It’s a ugly, unsettling place that I found myself. I looked into the mirror of my soul and admitted my fears, my insecurities, the experiences of my past that have tried to unravel me into what they say, what they thought, how they treated me. I was trapped by my real thoughts, not the ones I pretended to have…lol

If we have to play the hand we’re dealt, then why this hand?

Why the pain? Why this struggle?  Why the hardships?

Continue reading

Keep Moving…

I stroll, I speedwalk, I jog, I run, I hike, I exhale! I breathe in all the lessons nature wants to teach me. I open myself fully, vulnerable to the chirping of birds, the breeze blowing, trees swaying, the sound of water from a stream nearby and the brisk, intoxicating, fresh breath of the outdoors. There is nothing quite like it. Nature at it’s finest. Nature is therapy in its own right and I marvel at the beauty of it all.

On one of my many strolls on my favorite trail, with many walkers, runners, bikers constantly passing me by as I stopped to admire the sights, I discovered a profound lesson I would like to share.

Continue reading

You are just right…


Moms, it’s no secret…🤫

Motherhood has its rewards as well as its challenges but rest assured -You are the mother that is just right for your kid/s!

Each child is unique, distinct in temperament, wired with their own set of gifts and talents but, they also have their own set of struggles. This is a tough one for me as a Mom of a tween because I have found out that I can guide him and instruct him, but I cannot change or control my kids behavior (as much as I would like to… lol)

Continue reading

Feeling Stuck?…

Feeling stuck? Like your life is going in circles, to a place called nowhere? No amount of songs, podcasts or sermons seem to help you get over the feeling of being stuck?

Have you ever felt like the rug has been pulled from under you and you have completely lost your footing?

You just did not see this coming! You were totally blindsided by this loss, this issue, this challenge, this situation, this letdown….

You have come completely undone!

Continue reading