I’m going through a season of ugly. You know, that place where you are not where you use to be, but miles away from where you want to be? That middle ground, the hard stuff – that in between time. Are you familiar with the feeling of frustration because the dots are not connecting? It seems like all odds are against you, and your prayers are bouncing off the roof; has hell has broken loose? That very messy place, where there are more questions than answers?
Where will your obedience take you?
Will it take you to a Lion’s Den?
Will it take you to a Fiery Furnace?
Will it take you to a Cave or Prison?
Will it take you into a storm?
Is your measure of success based on your accomplishments, successes or your obedience?
If you knew your obedience would take you down a difficult road, would you choose convenience or obedience? Would you choose a different road?
It took place about a week ago after I was rocked to my core over a new season my family and I were entering into. Rest assured , it was a very good change, a blessing in disguise, but one I did not see coming. It caught me off guard, and left me fearful and anxious. My emotions were raw, I felt completely exposed and overwhelmed.
Have you ever felt cornered? Exposed? Vulnerable? Fearful? Anxious? Hopeless? Defeated?
Did you know that Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark? His fear drove him to solve a problem and revolutionize an era. He is known as one of the greatest inventors of all times. He is a favorite of mine-his philosophy of life has been the greatest inspiration to me. Our children know his quotes by heart and for very good reasons-He never lets fear stand in the way of his aspirations.
Botton line, on the other side of our best life is our decision to step out pass our fears.
I have struggled most of my life with ” I can’ts”. I felt robbed of memories and opportunities to step out and TRY. Two years ago I decided to PUNCH my “I can’ts” in the face. I decided to give “I can’t” a black-eye. I decided to believe my biggest cheerleader ever, the one who created me and told me I CAN do ALL Things with His Help (Philippians 4:13). Is it scary? Yes! Is it difficult? Yes! Do I get frustrated? Absolutely! However, I STEP OUT into whatever my hands find to do, I do it with ALL my might.(Ecclesiastes 9:10).
But he ALWAYS went back to Ramah, where his home was, and there he also held court for Israel. And he built an altar there to the Lord. (1 Samuel 7:17). So, let me fill you in a little, this verse is referring to Samuel who is now Israel’s leader and God’s mouthpiece. As I read this verse, I heard the Lord speak, “Build an altar here.”, Just one word from the Lord changes everything! I found so much encouragement and hope in those words as I realized the depth of what the Lord was saying to me. Building an altar today might not look the same as Samuel or Abraham but the significance of the altar is still very much the same. Could it be that Samuel, ALWAYS went back home because it took him both emotionally and physically back to a special place? It reminded him of where God brought him from-where He heard the Lord call him for the very first time- a place of great significance.
Waiting is no easy task. It takes guts, it takes courage, it takes character. I hate waiting. Now, I must say, It’s not so bad waiting when things are “pleasant in the wait,” or you are totally confident that what you are waiting for is going to be Amazing! Waiting is tolerable, convenient, and may even create some excitement for you, but for me, this period of waiting has come at seemingly the most inconvenient time and place. It’s not comfortable pleasant nor exciting. I know, what you are thinking “don’t hate the wait.” Its catchy and maybe encouraging if you are waiting a day, a week, a month, 6 months or even a year, but what about waiting for years for what you have been praying for. That type of waiting stirs up all kinds of emotions and I think to myself “will the answer to that prayer ever come?”
My story of motherhood is not one of rainbows and butterflies.
I wasn’t the mother that dreamed of being a mother all her life. I didn’t really give it much thought…I know, don’t stone me…lol. Motherhood kind of crept up on me and I can’t say that I was very prepared mentally or emotionally for it. I just kind of learned as I went along. I made a lot of mistakes and there was a time that I thought my kids bring me so much frustration and I did not see or experience much joy in being a mother. I really did not understand the gift and treasure I was given. I thank the Lord for His patience with me. It‘s through my journey as a mother that I have seen the best part of me and the worst part of me, and that’s when the true transformation began.
Next, to them, we were as grasshoppers … That could preach, right? And it has… lol
Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too! (Numbers 13:33 NLT)
I was reading through Number recently and the verse above from chapter 13 gripped me unlike anytime before. I often hear this verse used to highlight the children of Israel, the lack of faith in their God and the way they perceived themselves- the grasshopper mentality. Today, the text really spoke directly to an area in which I struggle; my perception of myself.
“I don’t have to beat those trucks, they are going a different place than I am”. That was my response to my child’s eager request to go faster mommy so we can pass and beat that truck. That statement struck me deeply as I mediated over the profound truth that I discovered.