Waiting is no easy task. It takes guts, it takes courage, it takes character. I hate waiting. Now, I must say, It’s not so bad waiting when things are “pleasant in the wait,” or you are totally confident that what you are waiting for is going to be Amazing! Waiting is tolerable, convenient, and may even create some excitement for you, but for me, this period of waiting has come at seemingly the most inconvenient time and place. It’s not comfortable pleasant nor exciting. I know, what you are thinking “don’t hate the wait.” Its catchy and maybe encouraging if you are waiting a day, a week, a month, 6 months or even a year, but what about waiting for years for what you have been praying for. That type of waiting stirs up all kinds of emotions and I think to myself “will the answer to that prayer ever come?”
My story of motherhood is not one of rainbows and butterflies.
I wasn’t the mother that dreamed of being a mother all her life. I didn’t really give it much thought…I know, don’t stone me…lol. Motherhood kind of crept up on me and I can’t say that I was very prepared mentally or emotionally for it. I just kind of learned as I went along. I made a lot of mistakes and there was a time that I thought my kids bring me so much frustration and I did not see or experience much joy in being a mother. I really did not understand the gift and treasure I was given. I thank the Lord for His patience with me. It‘s through my journey as a mother that I have seen the best part of me and the worst part of me, and that’s when the true transformation began.
Next, to them, we were as grasshoppers … That could preach, right? And it has… lol
Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too! (Numbers 13:33 NLT)
I was reading through Number recently and the verse above from chapter 13 gripped me unlike anytime before. I often hear this verse used to highlight the children of Israel, the lack of faith in their God and the way they perceived themselves- the grasshopper mentality. Today, the text really spoke directly to an area in which I struggle; my perception of myself.