“I don’t have to beat those trucks, they are going a different place than I am”. That was my response to my child’s eager request to go faster mommy so we can pass and beat that truck. That statement struck me deeply as I mediated over the profound truth that I discovered.
I had spent all my life with what I call, a case of mistaken identity (a situation in which I thought a particular person, aka, me was someone else). Yes, and for many of us, the same is true. We have identified ourselves through the lens of lies and experiences the enemy throws our way. It started in 5th grade for me.
I was scared and anxious about something that wasn’t even my reality yet. The thoughts consumed me of woulda, shoulda, coulda’s. This was new, unchartered waters for our family. New place, new people, new culture, new language, new food, new everything. My inner super planner self was freaking out. Not knowing how things were going to turn out was quite scary. My mind was going crazy and overload with fears. I needed my to-do-list in order to start checking things off so I could have some control of how my life is going to turn out.
Today, it became very evident that God hears and answers prayers. After a conversation, I had with my brother and sister in law, I was sure they were in my prayer closet that very week. At the time, I was battling being a homemaker and homeschool Mom. My season of pursuing a career had ended as I felt strongly the Lord wanted me home with the kiddos. This was quite a challenge because I had little knowledge of homeschooling. In fact, I attempted homeschooling our first born for one school semester and it was an epic failure; at the end of the day my son and I were both in tears and feeling great frustration. I came to the conclusion that homeschooling wasn’t meant for our family because it took special skills and an abundance of patience to pull that gig off, however, even while feeling inadequate, I found myself saying “Yes” to the Lord for the task at hand this time around.