So, I had a bit of a meltdown situation this week🙆. I was crying, stressed, overwhelmed and discouraged about motherhood and raising godly kids. You know the mundane stuff; cleaning, cooking, correcting, diapers, dishes, and basically repeating oneself over and over about the same things everyday🙇. Can anyone relate? I don’t want to have these meltdowns often so I try to find the reason or lesson behind this ordeal.
I realize I want WAY too much control of my kid’s behavior and I am totally guilty of OVER-PARENTING. I want them to be the best that they can be as every Mom does, but I am not giving them enough room to make MISTAKES and actually develop into that best version I desire.
MISTAKES are the secret sauce to learning and growing.
One of my favorite fathers of the faith, Bill Johnson, says it this way “God rewards all growth with pruning. Pruning in the kingdom is not punishment but an invitation into fruitfulness”.
The LESSON here: Our children need to make mistakes to learn and grow so we can eventually see some good fruit. We cannot protect them from everything. I have to let go of control and trust the Lord to work all things out for their good (Romans 8:28). Of course, we are here to guide, correct and discipline our children, but we should have internal rest while doing so; parenting out of love, not fear (working on this). This is easier said than done because when life is a bit cray cray , and you are constantly pouring out to these little ones, it’s quite human to feel spent, exhausted and frustrated. The good news is 2 Corinthians 12:10 speaks to us mothers:
“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
When we are weak, we can find our strength in Him.
That is quite comforting; we do not have to walk this journey alone.
We have the greatest Helper and Counselor of all times present with us in our daily grind.
This scripture verse is probably one that’s very familiar, but what a great reminder for those days when we feel a little “in over our heads.” If we depend on the Lord daily, He will sustain us. “Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. (Psalm 54:4)
No doubt, these little humans have a mind of their own and although we can temporarily control their behavior, we cannot change their hearts by trying to bend their will to ours. I don’t want to parent out of fear for that at best, just results in behavior modification. Rather, I want to parent from a place of love for that results in a heart transformation which causes our kiddos to walk in integrity and honesty; with hearts that obey, and actions that line up with the word of God, especially when no one’s watching. Surrendering from responsive hearts without defiance; that’s true obedience.
Some days it turns out God uses our children to prune us and other days He uses us to prune our children, but the end result is ALWAYS for our good and for fruit bearing. We don’t have to try to control the end result, that’s God’s part, we need only to let go and trust God because He values the journey (lessons, pruning, growth) above the destination. What a relief! The pressure is off! So, thanks to my meltdown, I was in a position to hear and learn a much-needed lesson in parenting, let go, let God!
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Can you relate? Have you ever had a meltdown? Share with us your experience and any lessons learned.